Before I Forget // December

A virtual Christmas card + 4 books to cozy up with and a few other good things.

We’ve got our hands full! That’s what we’re told; after mass, in the frozen food aisle, at the airport. Some days that feels true. Our hands are full of fruit snack wrappers, rocks gathered on walks through the woods, crayons, the list is both colorful and endless. Other days we wish for more, to once again have our hands occupied with pacifiers and burp cloths.

In her book an Altar in the World, Barbara Brown Taylor writes “When someone asks us where we want to be in our lives, the last thing that occurs to us is to look down at our feet and say ‘Here, I guess, since this is where I am.’”

This August, after weeks of asking me when she could go to school, the first day of kindergarten arrived, ready or not. Lucy was quiet as we walked through the school doors and I squeezed her hand as we made our way to her classroom. She let go and walked inside with one more glance in my direction. I can’t believe she’s old enough to say words like hieroglyphics and possibility, and still small enough to wrap her whole hand around my thumb.

Three days a week, I stand at the preschool door, waiting for James. He’s wearing his brown fleece jacket, the one with ears on the hood and when he runs into my outstretched arms, it’s like getting tackled by a teddy bear in khaki pants. He holds my hand all the way to the car and fills me in on the details of his morning like what was for snack, who he played with at recess, his favorite work.

We’re holding tight to these little kid days. At any given moment, the kitchen table is covered in some combination of play-doh and art supplies and crumbs. Each evening we slide the day’s creations down and light candles for dinner, which will be delicious and yet go mostly ignored by the kids who will howl like a pair of hungry dogs come bedtime.

Speaking of messes, I think the most used phrase of 2024 was “I can do it by myself!” (the kids) and “Two hands!” (the parents). Its the age of growing independence, which is equal parts delightful and irritating. We say “Two hands!” When Lucy or James carry a plate, a cup of milk or a bowl of pretzels dangerously close to spilling all over the floor, but what we’re really saying is “pay attention.”

We know firsthand what happens when we start rushing and stop paying attention. We make a mess of things, again and again. What I’m noticing more than ever, though, is that the messes we make are a gift, an invitation to slow down and look closer, an invitation to receive the help of friends and loved ones. This advent, especially, it’s an invitation to recognize our dependence on a God who was born in a cave, a God who has only ever wanted to be close to us.

In her poem titled It Was Early, Mary Oliver wrote “Sometimes I need only to stand where I am to be blessed.” This Christmas I pray that where you stand, you are blessed. May you live this season with both hands, your full attention present to the love that’s all around you. May you find yourself surrounded by peace this holiday season, and welcome the new year with joy

Reading

The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop — Am I in a celebrity memoir phase? Is it a phase? Is it a lifestyle? I don’t know but I do know I’m loving them on audio and this was no exception. Kelly’s ballet experience and years in A Chorus Line were fascinating, and obviously The Gilmore Girls of it all was *chef’s kiss*

Faking Christmas by

Kerry Winfrey

— I’m not a Hallmark Christmas movie girlie. They’re not my thing. And for the most part, Christmas rom-coms aren’t either, but I will re-read this book every December. Pairs well with Christmas cookies and a mug of cocoa.

Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan — If you’re looking for something Christmasy but not cheesy, THIS IS IT. More A Christmas Carol than Christmas cookies, ya know? I also re-read this one every December.

In Which I Try To Save The World by The

Part-Time Poets

— This compact volume of poetry is like my personal lovey lately. I’m taking it everywhere, highlighting lines and marking pages. It’s so good and I’m not just saying that because I know and adore many of the poets who devoted their time and attention to its pages.

Eating

Currently, there’s a roast going, living its best life in a Dutch oven full of red wine, onions, carrots and rosemary. The house smells DIVINE. We’ll eat it with roasted carrots¹ and roasted potatoes because the carrots in the actual roast are mushy and disgusting and just because you say they aren’t doesn’t make it true. ROASTED VEGETABLES FOREVER.

What else are we eating lately? Christmas cookies. That holiday Chex mix with the Worcestershire sauce and garlic powder.

Kat Ashmore’s Crispy Crackle Chicken is on regular rotation. It takes some work but it reheats in the oven really well.

I made some cod last week and I can still smell it every time I turn on heat oven so won’t be repeating that one anytime soon.

Don’t sleep on homemade Italian Subs. Easy and a crowd pleaser. You could even assemble early and toast right when you’re ready to eat. Serve with a bagged salad. Or potato chips. Whatever floats your submarine, babe.

If you’re feeding a crowd this Christmas and intimidated by the idea of making a charcuterie board, may I recommend talking to someone at your local fancy grocery store? I told an associate at my favorite little gourmet market what we like and she was able to make several suggestions I might not have chosen on my own. It helped just to have someone to talk to about it. And also, there’s really no right or wrong way to do it. I will suggest that you just cover a sheet pan in foil and let your meats, cheeses, crackers, etc be the stars of the show. No one’s going to see the pretty platter underneath anyway. Clean up is effortless when you can just pull up the foil and toss it in the trash. No one is going to look back twenty years from now and say “Man. Christmas was fine but it would have been better if the cheese was on a fancier tray.” Or skip the cheese tray all together and heat up a jar of queso instead.

Loving

Yes it’s expensive, but this hand sanitizer is worth it. Its size and shape make it perfect for any size bag and it smells divine. The rainwater scent is my favorite. It’s currently sold out, due in no small part to how many I ordered on Black Friday. I thought they’d make a cute little gift, no?

Rifle Paper’s spiral notebooks are great. I’ve been keeping one in the kitchen and one next to my bed for catching random thoughts, tasks, ideas, etc.

Capri Blue’s candles in Tinsel & Spice and Crystal Pine are making up for the fact that we are—for now, anyway—a fake tree family. The scent is just the right intensity, making the house smell cozy and festive without making my nose run and my eyes water like most popular candles.

Our house looks like the aftermath of a particularly artistic frat party hosted by the kindergarten set and for now, I am kind of loving it. Will I still love it in two weeks? Absolutely not! But for now I’m all “this is life with small children and it’s GLORIOUS!”

We are listening to Ben Rector’s Chrismas music on repeat. See also, JJ Heller’s new Christmas album and tried and true Christmas Classics.

Contemplating

“Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus!”

1. The recipe called for parsley but I had rosemary so I added probably a teaspoon of chopped leaves and it was fabulous.