Before I Forget // May

It doesn’t have to be perfect, or permanent, to be worthwhile.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Have I mentioned that Jeff and I are both firstborns? And that as firstborns we do everything to the extreme?

Take, for example, the screen free summer we have declared all because Jeff saw some guy’s Twitter post about how life changing it was. This is the adult equivalent of not swallowing gum because our parents told us it would sit in our stomachs for seven years. We are easily influenced and determined to succeed, a combination of traits our therapists are working hard to untangle, earning every dollar we pay them.

We have all kinds of things we want to do. And I don’t just mean projects and big dreams. God knows we have those. But we also want to hike more, plant a little garden, teach the kids to build stuff and make stuff and cook stuff and we want to get in the habit of doing more of those things. So we cut out the stuff that was getting in the way. We canceled all of our streaming services, deleted all our social media and dumbed our phones down.¹

The first week sucked. It sucked SO BAD. The kids were fighting constantly and wanted to get out play doh! And paint! And build a fort! And, and, and by the time I got one thing set up they were on to something else. There were so many tantrums, most of them mine.

But then something happened around the one week mark. When I get out play doh or paints, they stay focused on that one thing. While they build magnatiles or make “food” in the “kitchen”, they make up songs² and sing them to themselves, songs that I hear from the couch, where I lay “resting my eyes” for a few minutes. When they need a break, they sit and listen to the Toniebox or bring me some books to read. They’re getting better at cleaning up one mess before they make a new one.

I still text I miss tv to Jeff every few days and weekend mornings are hard without the ability to turn on a show and drink my coffee and read a book while we snuggle under a blanket. The house is loud and messy all the time.

It doesn’t have to be perfect, or permanent, to be worthwhile.

This isn’t a new identity or an attempt to be a particular type of family. It’s an experiment. We’re testing a hypothesis and making discoveries. Like all experiments, it will end. At the end, we’ll draw our conclusions and examine the limitations of our work. It’s not perfect. No experiment is.

READING

Limitations are good, fences and frames are good. I believe in the goodness of them all, the necessity of them for growth and maturity. But if you only give someone the four walls of their home or the four acres on which they live to cultivate and create, that is not freedom, and that isn’t even submission as the Bible talks about it. For years I heard women say their lives weren’t limited because they were raising up the next generation, but when half of the next generation grows up to stay within their own four walls and four acres for the rest of their life, I grieve. I grieve. That isn’t freedom, that isn’t liberty. Calling it the beauty of submission might be the lipstick, but beneath it all, it’s still a pig. -

Lore Wilbert

The Funeral Ladies of Ellerie County by

Claire Swinarski

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

We love a gang of sassy grandmas with crockpots in one hand and rosaries in the other. Claire really brings the Midwest to life in her adult debut. Come for the grandmas, stay for the love story. A tribute to family and an exploration of grief, forgiveness and healing. I really enjoyed this one.

Funny Story by Emily Henry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

You know, after Happy Place, I was a little nervous about this one. I LOVED it. It’s giving New Girl and I’m so here for it (though I am less here for that sentence blending gen z and millennial slang but so it goes).

Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Our book club pick for the month, this was an interesting one to pick back up in a totally different season of life than when I first read it.

The Understory by

Lore Wilbert

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I cannot think of a more perfectly timed book for this summer. As we spend more time outside, specifically in the woods, Lore’s words have been a guide for me to consider what it means to flourish and thrive as a person in the world and in the church. Moving, evocative and tender, I would love to pass out copies to everyone I know, but alas, I am not Oprah. But the good news is you can get a copy TODAY! Happy book birthday,

Lore Wilbert

!!!

EATING

I made the Paleo Salted Chocolate Chip Blondies from Big Bites and they were excellent. With coconut oil, coconut sugar and coconut flour, they definitely taste like coconut which was not for Jeff but everyone else gobbled them up.

I guess we’re in a dessert phase because I also made the brownies from Big Bites and oh my LORD they are incredible. This recipe is different from the one in the book but I can only guess it’s just as good.

A new go to meal for us: oven baked sweet potato fries, roasted kale (add zest of one lemon and a squeeze of lemon juice at the end if you have it), crispy crackle chicken. Everything cooks up on a sheet pan at the same temp. Cover your pans in foil and parchment and clean up will be a BREEZE.

LOVING

I read the kids three Mercy Watson books IN A ROW while they rested their little heads on my shoulders and snacked on Dot’s pretzels. It was as idyllic and barefoot and snuggly as you can imagine, a scene cut straight from a homeschooler’s wet dream.

Scored some new Cool Nights pajamas during Soma’s pajama sale. These are the greatest pajamas. Soft, lovely, and not stupid expensive.

Bought my first pair of Birks and all I can say is I GET IT NOW.

Watch my Alma Mater and former squad perform at NCA Nationals in Daytona!

If you read my melanoma story, you will not be surprised that I am a serious sunscreen enthusiast. I use this on my face every single day and this on the rest of my body.

CONTEMPLATING

1. We do still watch a movie before bed sometimes. We’re mostly just not turning the TV on during the day.

2. Some of my favorite lyrics include James’s “I’m the best builder and you’re the best cooker” and Lucy’s “I love my brother so much I will give him whatever he wants.”